Today there's a lot of pressure on parents to
give their children many "advantages." That can mean
music lessons, sports teams, church activities, and a great
education ... all at the same time.
Some children are scheduled for 10 to 16 hours a day. While
many enjoy the whirl of lessons, homework, games, and practices,
a growing number are finding that the hyper-scheduled life
is more than they can handle. They are dangerously overloaded.
Some simply decide to drop out of everything but school for
a time. Others suffer in silence, afraid to disappoint their
parents. Some of them are at the point of burnout.
Looking at a kid's list of activities doesn't necessarily
tell the story. Instead, you have to look at the child. Children
under stress exhibit a range of symptoms from headaches and
asthma attacks to nail-biting and sleeping problems. Like
adults, they have different thresholds for stress. What is
too much activity for one may not be enough for another.
In Hyper-Parenting: Are You Hurting
Your Child by Trying Too Hard? (St. Martin's Press), psychiatrist
and co-author Alvin Rosenfeld says some families make firm
rules, such as one sport per child per season. If you say
yes to too many things, the whole family will pay the price,
says Rosenfeld.
Children are with us only a few years before they head out
into their own lives. Enjoy them, the doctor says. If your
family is too busy to hang out together, leave some empty
spaces in the calendar. Unscheduled time teaches kids to create,
imagine, and see new possibilities.
