Today there's a lot of pressure on
parents to give their children many "advantages."
That can mean music lessons, sports teams, church
activities, and a great education ... all at the same
time.
Some children are scheduled for 10 to 16 hours a
day. While many enjoy the whirl of lessons, homework,
games, and practices, a growing number are finding
that the hyper-scheduled life is more than they can
handle. They are dangerously overloaded. Some simply
decide to drop out of everything but school for a
time. Others suffer in silence, afraid to disappoint
their parents. Some of them are at the point of burnout.
Looking at a kid's list of activities doesn't necessarily
tell the story. Instead, you have to look at the child.
Children under stress exhibit a range of symptoms
from headaches and asthma attacks to nail-biting and
sleeping problems. Like adults, they have different
thresholds for stress. What is too much activity for
one may not be enough for another.
In Hyper-Parenting: Are You Hurting
Your Child by Trying Too Hard? (St. Martin's Press),
psychiatrist and co-author Alvin Rosenfeld says
some families make firm rules, such as one sport
per child per season. If you say yes to too many
things, the whole family will pay the price, says
Rosenfeld.
Children are with us only a few years before they head out into their
own lives. Enjoy them, the doctor says. If your family is too busy to
hang out together, leave some empty spaces in the calendar. Unscheduled
time teaches kids to create, imagine, and see new possibilities.
